Ok folks. Joe Bob Briggs was famous for his Texas Drive-Movie
reviews. In fact, back in
the day, I would jump off a SW airlines plane at Dallas and pick up the latest
evening newspaper just to read the reviews on the way back to Tulsa. His
reviews were great, ranking movies by quarts of blood spilled and number of
exposed boobs.
Well, we're going to take it up a
notch. Zombie movies are comfort food for the video
addicted...and an added benefit of these movies is that they help you keep
your zombie defense skills sharp. Never, never, neglect the threat.
I'm sure you have seen zombies at Quick Trip at 4 a.m., just staring at the
rolling weenies.
Almost everyone has seen "Night Of
The Living Dead." Good tips on staying alive there, as well as in "The
Zombie Survival Guide" written by Max Brooks. Sandy, one of our
listeners, gave me that book and it's full of good information. Anyway,
I made it a personal quest of sorts to watch as many zombie movies as
possible. I've veiwed over 50 of them in my spare time, sharing info
with our listeners, but I'm late getting the reviews written down. So,
I'll pick up from today.
Stan, June 2009.
Here's some recent training films I've
watched:
"Undead Or Alive" (2007) Luke
(Chris Kattan, SNL, etc) and Elmer (James Denton, think "Desperate
Housewives") join with Geronimo's granddaughter (Navi Rawat, think Numb3rs) to
fight off a hoard of zombies in the Old West. Surprise ending. The
zombies would give it two crumbling thumbs up!
"Quick And The Undead" (2006) Directed by
Gerald Nott, starring Clint Glenn and a bunch of other people you have never
heard of. This is 78 minutes of nothing. The opening credits run
for 4 minutes and the closing credits run for another 4. That leaves 70
minutes of poorly lit "acting". Too much acting and not enough chomping.
The first zombie appears 30 minutes into this pic. Some of the slowest
moving zombies on film, but they pick up speed going up stairs. Go
figure. I give it two crumbling thumbs down.. (BTW, Astro Zombies,
starring the John Carradine has the record for the slowest zombies I've seen
yet.)
Stan
